"I would kill you if I could"

Let's say for a moment that, for whatever reason, you really hated Rhode Island governor Donald Carcieri. Let's also suppose, again for the sake of argument, that you wanted to let him know that you'd like to kill him. What would you do?

I think we can all agree we would not do what 59 year old Robert Pontarelli of West Warwick just did. In a fit of pique for reasons he apparently would rather not name, Pontarelli left two phone messages with the state's Office of Constituent Affairs last Friday night, telling the Governor, among other things, "I would kill you if I could" and "you've never had a round pass by your head".

While declining to detail why he was mad at the governor, Pontarelli was kind (and stupid) enough to leave his name and address in his phone messages. State aides heard the messages on Monday, and contacted the Rhode Island State Police on Tuesday to have a chat with Pontarelli about a felony charge of threatening a public offical and making harassing phone calls. Pontarelli is $25,000 lighter in the pocket and out on bail while awaiting a hearing.

Congratulations then, Robert Pontarelli, for being the dumbest man in Rhode Island this week. I wish we had an award for you, but I suppose your brief notoriety will simply have to do.